I often hear from clients that they don’t like being photographed or they always hate the way their photos turn out. I always respond, “Everyone takes great photos. You just haven’t had the right photographer yet!” I truly believe this, but sometimes, this fear is rooted in something very deep.

Take Kevin Goins, for example. Kevin is an amazing motivational speaker and creator of Owning Your Brilliance. The idea behind Owning Your Brilliance is, in part, “personal development by harnessing one’s unique brilliance”. So, I was surprised when, during our photoshoot, Kevin’s brilliance disappeared anytime I raised the camera to my eye.

This happens sometimes with clients and I’m always curious about the psychological reasons behind this. There are always reasons behind it.

Knowing Kevin personally, I felt comfortable asking him, “Kevin, what happened?! You disappeared.”

He laughed it off and expressed his discomfort at being in front of the camera. Finally, I asked him, “do you feel you don’t deserve to be seen?” DING, DING, DING!

It is common for people to feel they don’t deserve to be visible in this world. I was always one of them and this is probably one of the reasons I chose this profession years ago (though this is not the case now), but I am always saddened when I hear this because I know how lonely and hurtful it can be to feel invisible. I have many theories as to why this happens to some people (I mean, I think about people and how we are perceived and the image we put out into the world ALL THE TIME!).

It could be, we learned this mindset from our parents. Women are particularly bad about making disparaging comments about their own appearance, even in front of their kids, though fathers do this, too. (IF YOU ARE A PARENT, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!). It could also be, we just don’t know what to do in front of a camera. Understandable.

Sometimes, though, it’s deeper. Maybe we never felt visible to others in our childhood or as young adults. Maybe we never felt attractive. Maybe we were bullied for our appearance or any other reason. Maybe we don’t fit the accepted perception of what is beautiful. Worst of all, we could have be told point-blank that we are ugly or not attractive enough. This will, naturally, make someone want to disappear.

In Kevin’s case, we needed to make him aware of it and make him feel comfortable staying visible so the camera could bear witness to his brilliance! What did we do…? “Where’s Kevin!” That’s right! Every time I raised the camera I would say, “Where’s Kevin?!” It became our mantra…and it WORKED!!! Kevin was able to stay present, relax, and let his brilliance shine…and we got GREAT photos!!

It’s important to remember, your photographer is NEVER judging you. They want your photos to be just as amazing as you want them to be; your photo is our reputation. Before your shoot, let your headshot photographer know you are uncomfortable having photos taken. Have a conversation about what can be done during the shoot to ensure you feel comfortable enough to let your guard down, so you shine. We won’t be put out by this. We are here to make sure you look your best in the photo and that means tapping into that unique, intangible thing that makes you…you!

So go out there and show the world your brilliance! You deserve it!